Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
