She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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