Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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