Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
