If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize