dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I am midnight drunk by noon
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just invented taco cereal.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
