Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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