ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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