Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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