no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
