3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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