so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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