So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
