Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
