just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
