Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Randomize
