Porn is love you can see.
I wish I only lived at night.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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