I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
