respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
