i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My balls are so social today.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
