Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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