Sponge bath it is.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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