Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
