She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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