I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Randomize
