im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
pray to the hookup gods
They have beer where we have blood.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
