East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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