You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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