Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
