Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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