Where did you get a picture of my penis
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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