why didn't you poke me back
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
