so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
