i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
