pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
