I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
