; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
