Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
