someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
