He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
