Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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