she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
