Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
