in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
