Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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