Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
