I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just invented taco cereal.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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