i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
