im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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