You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
