Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
