dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
